Survival

Some of us are natural survivors, strong and resilient. Others, like me, find survival  soul-searching, mind-bending and back-breaking.  However, not going on is not an option.  I have spent countless sleepless nights wishing to fall into the starry sky. And here I am still. I did not jump. Not out of cowardice but because this is what I realized..

Wives lose husbands they have been married to for 40 years and more. My mother did, 3 years ago. Like rudderless ships, they flounder on. but they do not sink. They still light up at good meals and baby smells. Men become widowers after years of depending on a partner, a best-friend. They survive, scarred, scared. Life, relentlessly, goes on. People survive life changing accidents and disasters. Mothers live on after burying their children. I cannot think of anything harder than that. If this is possible, anything is possible. What am I complaining about?

Healthy human tissue typically takes six weeks to heal and scar. The scar tissue is just a fraction as strong as the original substance..but Time, the great healer, slowly remodels the scar and makes it tenacious and strong. It is not made of the original tissue..it is made of stronger substance..designed to hold better. Mother Nature knows exactly what she is doing. Over years, scars fade. Sometimes, they even surprise us.."Hey, you can barely see it!"

Taking inspiration from nature, I have decided to let myself heal. The scars will fade.

On coastlines

So many songs sung about tenacity..of strength and the ability to weather storms. Have you ever thought what would happen if the ocean, in its almost infinite power, were permitted to nibble away at the coastline?

In my mind's eye I see a tiny patch of white sand beach..pristine and quiet to the unthinking eye. And I think of millions of gallons of salt water beating down on it..fortitude takes on more meaning as I realize how strong and tenacious that beautiful beach is..

Stairway

My not so little second grader wanted to know why there were so many religions and was it a good idea to be following just one of them? Were we doing the right thing? Were we missing out? From the mouths of babes, as always..

I asked her to list the number of ways she could get to the roof of a building. Let us try that here..take the stairs, take the elevator, sit in a bucket and ask someone to haul you up, take a chopper and land on the helipad.Her face lit up as realization set in.

All roads lead to God, no matter what path we take and what language the road signs are in.

Hello 2010

Billie May passed on, God bless his soul. And they found a woman to yell out the virtues of Oxiclean. What else is there to be said?

Pandora's box

All this concern over intrusive mind-reading technology. I say, let them. If they can see more inside my mind beside the pettiness that disgusts me, I will be happy. Garbage picking. No bottomless pool, this mind. Shallow, void, empty..I do wish there was more to me than this smallness. Would love to be profound. But am bound by my littleness. Would love to be deep but find safety in shallow waters.So go ahead..look into my mind, but don't say I did not warn you.

Black roses, black diamonds, black skies

And what will you show me next? Another shade of black? Color that rubs off on my fingers, a stain that sets in deep and sure..no amount of scrubbing helps..If I rip off the skin, I will find deposits in the tissue beneath.

Should you blindfold me? Or should you poke my mind's eye with a sharp stick? Stop thinking, stop thinking, for the love of god stop seeing. Close my eyes and drift away. Color, color, vibrant color. Black is the color of my blue sky..oh what have you done?

Argentinian Tango from a movie

In a petty and occasionally ugly world, art offers beauty and comfort.