Raising a daughter

I have never believed in over simplistic equalizations of of gender. Or of anything for that matter. It is an unequal asymmetric imperfect and consistently inconsistent world. And I love it.

Perhaps I would have thought differently if I had been born in the dark ages or sold as a slave or something ugly. But I have not. 

Being raised in Bengal to high thinking parents has innate advantages and living in a small town did not affect this even remotely. 

Burn the bra? No way José! The narcissist in me loves all things exquisitely feminine and I revel in being female. I love being offered seats, I love chivalrous men opening doors for me, and I love politeness and good manners. I do not think these will ever be unfashionable or undesirable.

I am raising a girl child of the next generation. I had once realized that the only thing that troubled me was isolation or loneliness. The world was getting progressively lonelier. Loneliness makes a person vulnerable and if I had to raise a strong woman, I would have to raise someone who was not troubled by aloneness. Someone who was at peace within. I wrote this on her 9th birthday. 

"What do I wish for my daughter's future?

I wish and pray with all my heart that she learns to live within her silence. To embrace the solitude which is part of every single person's life. We are all, islands of solitude. Not all of us have learnt to live within this silence. I wish for my child to be able to embrace this quietness and imbibe peace and strength from it. Let it not be a cacophonic silence. Let it not be a deafening silence filled with disquietude and self-doubt. Let it be a serene solitude, such that any one looks at her face and sees the face of calm."

New womanhood? Empowered, smart multitaskers who are confident of themselves and their sexuality without need to prove or protest.

I do believe self-defense classes should be made a compulsory part of the curriculum in every country so that never again does a girl or a woman have to worry about being attacked physically by men. Empowerment has to be physical too.
© Sucheta Sanyal Roy / September 2014

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Diet is a word with 'Die' in it

Post by Inspire.

Indigo

I have my blue blue blue days too. Earlier I would find it next to impossible to climb out of these quicksand holes. I would spend hours and even days drowning in  undefined hazy misery diluted with a good helping of self-pity. And this was not even pms. That was an extra ;) But I have learnt to count my blessings. Quite literally like a bulleted list in my head. I woke up this morning. Thank you God. Every body part still works. Am not joking. Thank you God. There is clean running water from the tap. Life was not always like this and there was no guarantee there would be water coming out of the tap. Thank you God.  It is raining outside and it is comfy and beautiful inside my home. Thank you God. For every single thing I take for granted..that makes my life blest and beautiful..thank you dear God. For food on the table, shoes on my feet, a roof on my head and family to love and care for. Life is wonderful and there is no time to be spent feeling blue! And of course..my favorite song for off-days..sure to make me laugh out loud ..'Mood Indigo' by Louis Armstrong.  Have a great day my friends.  ~Love, Suchi

Weight loss: getting started

I have wished, hoped and prayed for weight loss for as long as I can remember being obese. I have also tried a lot of stuff..walking, power-walking, exercising, joining a gym, taking herbal life dietary replacements/ supplements,  fasting on certain days of the week, exercising on wii with Wii fit plus.  I wish I had not wasted time, energy, health and money on some of these.

Did it work? No. The only thing that did happen, however, was that it fostered a need, a desperation for sustainable weight-loss without self-harm.

This is the second on a series of self-help posts that I am writing for those who are serious about weight loss. The first was http://doctorroy.blogspot.com/2013/07/metamorphosis.html I hope you found it motivating and inspiring.

But first let me tell you why I presume to 'tell' anybody all this. It is because I have finally come down from a BMI of 36 to 26, from trouser size 14 to 6 (of the same brand, eliminating the pitfall of vanity sizing), and lost a whopping 50 lbs in 6 months. It has been difficult, but sweetened by success! And if I can do it, so can you.

So where do I begin. Let me start with inspirations and compelling reasons that pushed me towards finding ways and means towards sustainable and yet reasonably fast weight loss methods.

Epiphanic cliches are dull and annoying but even so I would like to share this with you. One day I realized all energy is simply energy. People who sent me negative energy in the form of jibes, sneers and thinly veiled ugliness in the form of comments..sent me energy from their energy stores. Instead of letting these affect me negatively I decided to look for an alchemist's tool within myself. A transducer. Something to convert negative energy to brilliant positive energy. Something that would carry me forward toward my weight loss goal. And I found the proverbial philosopher's stone. Within.

The mind is an amazing tool. And it is yours, free and clear, given to you by your maker..whatever your faith or belief. Use it. So is your will. Train it, discipline it. Set a weight loss goal. Make it real. Write it down. Writing goals is more productive than simply thinking about them. I believe in setting very practical and realistic short term goals. This keeps us going from one mile-marker to the next. Onward and forward. However, I also believe that long-term goals/ the end-point should be the stuff that our wildest dreams are made of. What we consider impossible in our heart of hearts. And do yourself a favor..instead of disbelief, foster belief. Everything is possible. But you have to wish it, want it and work towards it.

There will be a lot of negative people in your way. 'Friends' will drop their masks when you start losing weight. Take it as a compliment and stick with it. I have been repeatedly told by one person that I have started resembling Abraham Lincoln. This is vicious, false and ridiculous. Try telling my heart that..it was still hurt. Until I decided to look at it as a sign of progress.

Sometimes 'circumstances' will just not be right to diet or exercise.  But your self-motivation for weight loss must be strong enough to overcome your strongest excuse. I have been there too. A demanding job with odd hours making it pretty much impossible to stick with fixed meal times, old parents, running two households simultaneously, raising kids..been there done that.  And I know things I could have done then. I could have made it a point to keep healthy snacks handy. Ahead of time. I could have filled the pantry and fridge with healthy choices instead of palate pleasing unhealthy junk. I could have made it a point to drink measured quantities of water. Every day. And I could have cut down on my carbohydrate consumption each meal that I could.

Weight loss is more about diet. Having a fit and toned body is what the exercise is about. One cannot out-exercise a bad diet and attempting to do so is stupid as it can damage your joints irreparably and still not achieve your weight loss goal.  Both together make an unbeatable combination. Hey it works for everybody with a human body..why will it not work for you? Make it happen.

Things to do to get started on your weight loss journey:

• Weigh yourself. Find out your ideal weight-for-height.
• Calculate your BMI. Find out what it should ideally be.
• Consult your physician. If you don't have one, get one.
• Ask to get tested for at least these basics : Thyroid, Fasting and Post-Prandial blood sugar, blood pressure (to know your baseline) and a Fasting Lipid Profile. 
• If you have polycystic ovaries/ fertility issues, ask for a baseline hormone panel as well.
• While waiting for the test results, get into the habit of drinking 8 glasses of water a day. At least. Easier said than done as it probably involves as many/ more trips to the bathroom..

And yes, I am qualified to tell you this. I used to be a  hypothyroid, hypertensive obese eye-surgeon with polycystic ovaries.  Now I am 20 lbs away from ideal weight for my height, I am euthyroid and I am off medication for the polycystic ovaries. My blood pressure is as good as it gets, with no medication.

I hope you find this weight loss article useful and inspiring. I will help you through this journey if you are motivated enough.

ownership

She had asked me for a glass jar

To catch some morning fog

To keep a cloud in a bottle

I will fill a jar with beautiful dreams and leave it by her pillow.

And I will teach her that a cloud was not meant to live in a bottle

It would turn into tears and stop being a cloud

But the lesson can wait

For now, let bottled fog be her plaything.

I was trimming the jasmine on the trellis when I spotted this. I am thankful to my maker I did not touch it..eeewwwww! I was fascinated  by the split in its 'coat' that ran down its back. Half of me wanted to stay and watch to see what emerged. However, I am usually guided by my saner half which said, go inside you idiot..before the 'THING' emerges!

How to study, what to study

This article is the first in a series intended to help students of all ages and in all streams to figure out what to study and how to study. For years together I have been guiding and teaching my junior medicos as well as my dearly loved optometry students how to formulate study strategy. These days I have been tutoring my daughter with the expected outstanding results. I hope to be able to help those who study online by providing free study guidelines.

These strategies have been tried and tested by me over and over again. They are guaranteed to work.

Time and mental energy are both precious commodities. I do not believe in wasting 6 hours in achieving what can be done in 60 minutes. Stress free.

So here we go. From grade level studies to post graduate studies, remember to spend time planning. You need to define your goals before you touch your books.

• What is your material
• Where is your material (book/ notes/ online study sources)
• What is your time frame/ how little time do you have
• Why are you studying it (for knowledge/ as part of course requirement/ for testing purposes)

Once this much is defined, you know what, where, when and why. As you keep using this how to study/ what to study approach,  you will start thinking in a streamlined, methodical manner.

Next is the approach to a chapter..assuming you want to know how to study science/ history/ geography/ civics/ biology/ physics/ physiology/ anatomy/ medicine/ surgery/ basic sciences. The approach to a chapter remains the same.

Every page you read has 2 parts. The part that matters, and part that does not matter: the fillers. By fillers I mean the language/ sentences/ the connective-tissue of writing so to speak. The author needs to put these in, but you do not have to waste anything more than a passing glance on them. Learn to mentally edit out fillers.  It is a mental discipline you will learn really fast. Once all the 'noise' has been removed from a page, whatever remains is the essence. That is all you need from that page. 

Use index cards/ sticky notes and right then and there, write down those few words that sum up the essence of the page you read. This reduces each page down to a list of bare facts. That is it, you are done. Every time you visit that chapter, all you will now need to look at is your tiny but neatly written lists of facts. Imagine going through a 1000 page book the night before your exams..and doing it in 10 -15 mins because when you studied you shrank it down to substance, eliminating all writing-fillers.

I would suggest limiting the use of hi-lighting pens to a minimum as I have found these cause eye strain and fatigue at exam time. And then one gets into a spiral of hi-lighting more and more, often entire sentences and paragraphs..a waste of time and a disfigured book at the end of it.

For those looking for resources on how to study and what to study: I hope you find this useful. If you do, please leave me feedback. I will really appreciate it. Good luck.

~ Suchi