Parenting

Easier said than done. How does one maintain a balance and come up with the perfect finished product?

I have been accused of being a laid-back mother, not worried enough. The way I see it, my getting a stroke over my daughter's first grade class assignments, giftedness and talentedness and extra curricular activities will achieve nothing.

This is where I start, working backwards. What do I treasure most? Happiness. Given its elusive nature, what do I treasure second-best? Balance. Yes, balance in my everyday life, balance in my mind, balance in every relationship.

Assuming certain values are universal and timeless, I would like my child to be able to strike this balance when she grows up. Call it maturity, call it level-headedness, whatever. What's in a name, huh?

How do I bring up my child to be a balanced young adult..the thought of middle-school curdles my blood!

Will playing chess help my child as an adult? To think logically and take better decisions? To an extent, yes. But life is not a static chess board. From move to move chessmen change, situations change and each move is complex. Maybe the game should simply be played for the pleasure of it.

Being good at a sport will certainly help with the college tuition. But I have seen a child who was so stressed out by soccer practice and performance pressure, he starting wetting his bed afresh in 2nd grade. It is called regression..a child's way of reverting to infancy to deal with stress. Makes me wonder.

Have you ever heard and pitied a mediocre musician who has no inkling that he is off-key or that his instrument is less-than-perfectly tuned? Be kind, dear parent. All children need to be given the opportunity to bring out the best in them. Children are uncut diamonds, every single one of them. But I beg you, give them breathing space..do not force those hateful piano lessons down their throats. If you want to begin early with the notion that the child does not know any better, at least get a candid opinion from the teacher. There is no room for ostriches in parenting.

A last word..walking to school to save fuel on Earth Day is very nice in principle. But it would send a clearer message with longer lasting impact if we would also ask them to turn off the bathroom lights after brushing, don't you think?

My little brat often lectures me with "reduce, re-use, recycle"..I am trying my damned best to incorporate this principle into our everyday lives so her message has meaning and value.

As for the rest, time will tell.